"Words that enlighten the soul are more precious than jewels."

"I think I can! I think I can! I think I can!" The Little Train That Thought It Could coughed out an endless trail of black smoke as it strained to inch its way up a long and steep hill, entertaining me for the moment and leaving a lasting impression that would affect me for the rest of my life. I was only four or five when Captain Kangaroo introduced me to that little train; my first motivational seminar I suppose. Yet, some forty years later, whenever I am faced with a difficult challenge, I still draw upon those words for inspiration. Silly, but true...

Ever wonder why people turn out the way they do? Why some will climb mountains achieving great things, while others remain at base camp, with frozen desires, afraid of taking a step forward? Given all the options we have in this life, all the wonderful possibilities of how we could best use our time and talents, why is it that some of us live our dreams while others let them pass by?

I think a lot of it has to do with the words we choose to believe about ourselves. Words that were planted in our minds by friends, relatives, teachers and clergy, regarding what they thought we could or could not become as viewed through their own autobiographies. Words that would either inspire us to great accomplishments or deflate our ambitions before we took even the smallest step forward. We choose which words to hear and upon believing them to be true, set out to live-what will become-the story of our lives.

The other day, while standing in the checkout line at a local grocery store, I saw an angry young woman screaming at her terrible two's toddler. "Why can't you ever do anything right?" she said, as she proceeded to grab the child by the arm and drag him from the store. "Why can't you be more like your sister?" I wanted to run over to the little guy, hold him in my arms and tell him that mommy didn't really mean what she just said. My aching heart wanted to offer words of love and kindness-perhaps healing the wounds that had just been inflicted on this beautiful child. But instead, I bit down hard on my lower lip and said a small prayer.

Moments later, as I walked to my car, I could hear more of the same language-more of the same ugly words-as the women hastily threw her groceries in the trunk and drove away. What will that child become? I wondered. What chance does he have, at such a young and tender age, to overcome words so carelessly delivered, so innocently received?

Of course children are not the only ones who fall victim to the reckless and controlling use of words by others. Verbal abuse is an enormous problem in our society, particularly within the confines of a marriage. Often, it is the dominating ego of one of the partners that sets the tone for what the other can do, say or even believe.

I once knew a couple where the husband was always the controlling factor. In everything they did, it was his way or the highway. He frequently abused her verbally in public, talking down to her with harsh words of criticism and insults, all the while keeping her in her place and focused on his needs and desires. Ranting and raving about everything under the sun, he never allowed her to have an original opinion, thought or even a friendship without his approval. To this day, she has yet to blossom into the person she was meant to be. His words have kept her locked up in shackles and chains.

But it isn't only the words of others that define our direction in life; it's also the words we speak to ourselves. What we hear in our heads-that small little voice-is often more powerful and controlling than anything anyone else could ever say to us. The good news, however, is that just as we have a choice regarding whether or not we listen to the words of others, we also have a choice as to what we tell ourselves about ourselves.

French pharmacist Emile Cou'e, quite by accident, discovered the placebo effect. Working late one night, he was approached by a man with severe abdominal pain requesting a drug for which he had no prescription. Wanting to help but not wanting to break the law, Emile told the man he was out of that particular drug and suggested a substitute that would work just as well. The man took Emile's advice and within days reported that he had been cured of his stomach problems. The substitute drug Emile had prescribed? Sugar.

Having witnessed first hand the power of suggestion, Emile thought that it might be possible to cure minor personality disorders by changing self-talk-the words we tell ourselves about ourselves-to more positive affirmations. Emile asked people diagnosed with low self esteem, to repeat the words "Every day, in every way, I'm getting better and better" at least twenty times a day for two months. The results were nothing less than astounding! Once negative and depressed, these folks were now facing life with an improved mental attitude. The shroud of darkness that had fallen over their lives had been lifted. Words-not drugs-were the cure.

Jesus, like other spiritual masters, understood the power of words and the lasting effect they could have on our lives and the lives of others. "But I say to you that for every idle word men may speak, they will give account of it in the day of judgment. For by your words you will be justified and by your words you will be condemned" -- Matthew 12:36 Is it possible that the words we speak in this life will define us for all of eternity? Certainly worth considering before we open our mouths to speak...

Words are powerful tools; the very building blocks of our existence. Used with love and kindness, words can convey a sense of possibility and hope, comfort and encouragement. Words can build lasting friendships, mend torn relationships and bridge the vast differences between cultures and beliefs. Words can be one of the greatest gifts we can ever give to ourselves or another human being. Wrap them in bright colors, tie them with a bow and always, always, choose them wisely.

Some Things To Consider

Pick a day this week and consciously notice the words you say to others. And just as importantly-perhaps, more importantly-notice the words you say to yourself about yourself. Are they words of love and encouragement or words of fear and defeat? Change your inner and outer dialog and become an inspiration to others and to yourself.

All Rights Reserved © 2002 By Jeffrey Alan Hall