"Honesty is such a lonely word, everyone is so untrue."

"Do you want me to tell the CEO the truth, or should I sugar-coat it?" Bill asked his boss Steve.

"Tell the old man what he wants to hear," Steve replied. "That's what I always do. He'll freak out if he knows how you really feel. Besides, we could both lose our jobs. Let's not take the risk."

"You're right," Bill said. "The last thing I want to do is ruin my career. I'll just package the truth like a bag of M&Ms. It'll taste so sweet he'll never know the real story. Thanks for the advice Steve."

What is it about telling the truth that frightens us? Are we so afraid of hurting someone's feelings that we would rather live a lie? Wouldn't it be healthier to express our true feelings, and let the chips fall where they may?

To answer these questions, it may be helpful to consider the oath we take before testifying in a court of law. As we raise our right hand, we promise to "tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. So help us, God." Let's take a look at how this formula can be used to improve our daily lives.

• Tell the truth. We must first commit to telling the truth at all times, no matter what. No waffling on this one. We must make a pact with ourselves that in all situations we will express what we honestly feel to be our truth. This doesn't mean that we must force our truth on others, but it does mean that we will honestly express ourselves whenever our integrity is on the line or when not telling the truth might negatively effect another human being.
• The whole truth. This means a no-holds-barred approach. Everything that relates to our truth must be fully expressed. We often fall into the trap of expressing only partial truths in fear of how others will respond. We must express everything we feel without any attachment to the outcome. If someone chooses to respond negatively, that is their choice.
• Nothing but the truth. We must stick to the mission at hand. This is not a time to get sidetracked or attempt to manipulate the truth with our own hidden agenda. We must be honest with ourselves before speaking to make sure that our ego is not masquerading as truth. Tough assignment for most of us.
• So help me, God. This may be the most important part and often the one we forget. To express our truth without rancor or rage, without a hidden agenda or intent to harm, we must tap into God's loving guidance. God will empower us to express our truth at the right moment and in the right way, with courage, love and kindness. We might also ask ourselves how the great spiritual masters such as Jesus, Buddha or Mohammed, might express what we are about to say. Then we must listen for the answer as we pray or meditate. It will come.

Of all the things that God can bring to the expression of truth, love is by far the most important. Love is the ingredient that allows for our truth to be spoken in a manner that can be heard and accepted by others. If we are to express what we believe to be true, we must allow love to carry the message and allow God to bring love into the equation. God, love and truth are all interconnected. You cannot have one without the other two. Speak your truth with love, and trust God to handle the outcome.

Above all else in life, it seems that we must express and live our truth or resign ourselves to relationships that are false and phony. This includes our relationship with ourselves. Perhaps if each of us would find the courage to express our truth with love and kindness, honesty wouldn't have to be such a lonely word after all. As always, the choice is ours to make.

Some Things To Consider

Are there people in your life, including yourself, that perhaps you have not been totally honest with? Consider meeting with these people and clearing the air. If it's yourself, consider a long walk, some prayer or the sounding board of a trusted friend. Don't resign yourself to living among the false and phony. Embrace total honesty in all that you do and say.

All Rights Reserved © 2002 By Jeffrey Alan Hall