From Frequent Flyer To Frequent Father

From Frequent Flyer To Frequent Father

"Every father should remember that one day his son will follow his example instead of his advice."

— Unknown

The earth-shattering news arrived on Saturday afternoon, just as I was preparing to take my newborn son on a short hike outside my home in the Rocky Mountains. I tore open the plain brown envelope, whose small letters suggested it had been printed on recycled paper, only to find a very serious message from the president of a major airlines. As I read the letter I found myself laughing at the following words, written in a tone of sorrow, as if someone had died:

"WE REGRET TO INFORM YOU, THAT, DUE TO THE REDUCED NUMBER OF AIR MILES YOU FLEW WITH US LAST YEAR, WE MUST DOWNGRADE YOUR PLATINUM FREQUENT FLYER STATUS."

What? How could it be? With the stroke of a pen I had been reduced from top-of-the-heap to lowest-on-the-totem pole! Cut down in my prime. No longer a player. What would I do? I shuddered to think what the future might hold!

In the world of business travel, one's frequent-flyer card is a coveted status symbol, much like one's income level or corporate title. Possessing the top-level card means you are considered a mover and shaker—someone who makes things happen as you circle the globe.(Not to mention the fact that you get to board first, while other less-fortunate souls must wait until your butt is comfortably seated before they are allowed to find a home for their carry-on luggage.)

When I gave up the corporate world several years ago, I said goodbye to the road—a place I called home for the better part of my adult life. My wife and I decided to start our family after 16 years of marriage, something that is difficult to do if you're never in the same house, let alone the same room, at the same time. But I happily parted ways with the friendly skies. No regrets.

Our son was born last year, and, since then, life has changed considerably. My fast-paced world of airlines and rental cars has been reduced to a 20-second daily commute from my bedroom to my in-home office. Power lunches at chic restaurants have given way to dining at home with our little toddler, who often attempts to turn graham crackers into some sort of a mud facial. As unglamorous as this may seem, I'm around to watch my son grow up. Something I wouldn't trade for a million frequent-flyer points!

What has changed most, however, is my deep understanding that to be a good father you have to be available and involved. Losing my frequent-flyer status has come to represent what I have gained rather than what I have given up. Here are just a few lessons that this new Frequent Father and former frequent-flyer has taken to heart:

Frequent-flyer points are simply a measurement of how often you are away from your family. When it comes to the growth and development of your children, the lower your frequent-flyer status, the better. When the airline says, "You're out of the club," that's great! Now you can join a far more important—and somewhat obscure—club: parents who spend time with their kids.
For me, staying in the finest hotel in the world is no match for holding my son in my arms and kissing him good night—every night. When Josh buries his head in my chest and gives me a hug, the feeling is priceless. Free turndown service or a chocolate on my pillow doesn't even come close!
Becoming actively involved as a parent is far more rewarding than any free vacation you might earn with frequent-flyer points. When you're at 32,000 feet racking up the miles for that "free trip," your son or daughter is on the ground wondering if you'll return in time to help with tomorrow's spelling test.

If, like many parents, you must travel for a living, I certainly don't discount the sacrifices you're making to provide a better life for your family. But, the next time you begin to think that the frequent-flyer points you're earning are part of that "better life," think again. Treating your family to a free vacation in the south of France is no substitute for the many hours you're away from home. Priceless family time, once lost, is gone forever.

Among frequent flyers, there's a well-worn joke: He with the most points when he dies, wins! That's a game this reformed road warrior fully intends to lose.

Some Things To Consider

How much time are you spending with the ones you love? Can you find a way to spend more? What will it cost? Can the price ever be too high?