"Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice; it is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved."

When I hear others complaining about negative things happening in their lives, I am reminded that everything we have, everything we are, is a byproduct of the choices we make. Nothing happens to us that we do not choose, whether consciously or unconsciously. Want to have a better life? Make better choices.

Our health is a good example. When we complain that we feel tired, run down, overweight or stressed out, perhaps we need to realize it's because of the poor choices we've made. A sedentary lifestyle or one filled with too much fat, sugar, caffeine or alcohol, will not result in a healthy body. Dr. Bernie Siegel asks his patients, "Why did you choose this disease?" Optimum wellness is a choice!

And what about your career? Your mama didn't tell you to become a widget repairman! If you dislike your job and really want to make a contribution to society or express your true talents, heed the words of Nike and "Just do it!" The only thing standing in the way of the job or career you desire is you. Don't just sit around waiting for things to change to your liking because chances are they never will. You must be the change agent. You must manifest what is you desire!

To make better choices and live the life of our dreams, we must focus on a couple of key questions. First, will this choice bring me closer to learning who I am and becoming who I want to be? We often make decisions and choices too quickly without taking into consideration the long-term consequences. Every decision today creates the world we will inherit tomorrow. Or looked at another way—your life today is the sum total of all the choices you made in the past.

Different choices take us down different roads. To make sure that the road you choose will lead to your ultimate destination, it can help to imagine it's your eightieth birthday. All of your friends and relatives have gathered on this wonderful occasion to stand before you and describe all of the magnificent accomplishments of your life. What will they say? What would you like them to say?

After you have identified the accomplishments that will in essence become your legacy, do what Stephen Covey says and "begin with the end in mind." In other words, work backwards from where you want to end up in your lifetime and make choices today that will lead you there. Don't settle for anything less!

Next, I think it is important to determine on a scale of 1 to 10, whether the choice you are about to make is your highest choice. How will you know? Your highest choice will always be the one that is void of any ego attachment and will reflect the inner direction of your soul. Normally, your highest choice will not be the first choice that comes to mind because the ego will usually override your soul and scream the loudest! The ego is very clever and knows exactly how to distort what it is we really want. Whenever I find I have made a poor choice, I usually realize that my ego found a way to shut out my heart. It's as simple as that.

To quiet the ego and let your soul speak, you must be out of your mind. In other words, you must turn your mind off and let your soul, heart and feelings take over. Find some quiet time—get off by yourself—and without distraction, learn to be still. Then, move from the stillness to a meditative state. This will provide an environment in which the voice of the soul can be heard. The soul, you see, is a rather polite fellow. It will always remain quiet in the presence of more boisterous competition such as the ego. Your challenge is to find a way to get the ego to shut up just long enough for the soul to speak.

During meditation, try on your various choices in the context of how you feel once you have made them. In other words, see yourself as having already made the decision. How does it feel? Do you feel lighter, happier, and full of energy? Or is there a queasy feeling in your gut? Repeat this exercise as many times as necessary until the decision lines up with your highest values and beliefs. Oh, and that little voice you're hearing in your head; listen to it! It's there to help you along the path.

Note: while we're on the subject of meditation, please understand that setting in the lotus position with your legs wrapped around your neck is not a requirement. Frankly, not many people can sit like that for any length of time. It may be a good way to learn to scratch your nose with your big toe but how often will that come in handy? Find a position that feels comfortable and relaxed so that you can focus your attention on shutting down the inner-chatter of your mind and finding the voice of your soul.

As we choose, so we become. Don't look back at your life from your eightieth birthday and wish things had turned out differently. Learn to make better choices today that allow you to leave the legacy you desire. Turn off the noise, turn up the silence and choose to become your highest gift. A better life awaits you!

Some Things To Consider

Do you accept full responsibility for the choices you make? Have the choices you've made in the past taken you to where you want to go? Pretend it's your eightieth birthday and all your friends and family have come to celebrate. Each will get up in front of the group and reflect on your many accomplishments. What will they say? What do you want them to say?

All Rights Reserved © 2002 By Jeffrey Alan Hall