"People are just about as happy as they make up their minds to be."

Happiness is a choice. Whether we see the glass as half full or half empty, so it will be and so it will further become. The bridge that connects the happiness we seek with the reality we experience, is constructed by our ability to pause in the gap between stimulus and response and choose love over fear. We must rest in the knowledge that we are perfect in the eyes of God, just the way we are. We must commit to living our truth, manifesting our destiny and allowing happiness to permeate our entire being. Life was never meant to be a struggle. There is nothing to be fearful of.

Yet, many of us are afraid to be happy. It's almost as if we believe that if everything is going well something bad must surely be around the next corner. We want so desperately to feel at peace and one with the universe, yet, we refuse to allow the light of happiness to illuminate our lives. Feeling good often makes us feel guilty. How can I be so happy when so much is wrong in the world? we ask. Yet, how can we not be happy? Happiness is our birthright.

To escape the burden of negative thoughts, we must discard a scarcity mentality that suggests that happiness is of limited supply and embrace the belief that it's OK to be happy; that there is plenty of happiness for everyone. We must come to understand that our being happy will not result in others being miserable. That our success will not result in others failing. That our peace and happiness will not result in pain and sorrow for others. We must surrender to the notion that happiness is not like a pie with only so many pieces to go around—happiness is abundantly available. We need only make the choice to partake of it.

I know, I know—life is full of problems. We just finish dealing with one issue and another dilemma comes along which seems twice as bad as the crisis we faced last week. There is a saying within Alcoholics Anonymous that "Every problem comes bearing it's own solution." God provides the answer to every problem the moment it occurs. But we just can't see that. Instead, we focus our attention on all that is wrong and carry our pain as if it was our cross to bear. Happiness eludes us because we become absorbed in the problem, blinded to the solution. Our lack of positive thinking prevents us from seeing what could be.

Many years ago, I read a book by the late Norman Vincent Peale entitled "Positive Imaging." The concept of the book is based on the belief that if you vividly picture in your mind a desired state of happiness and hold that image until it sinks into your unconscious mind, great, untapped energies will be released and your goal will be realized. The technique works best when combined with a deep spiritual faith backed by prayer and meditation as well as the seemingly illogical practice of giving thanks for benefits before they are received. By expecting good things to happen you force all negative thoughts from your consciousness and allow the universe to manifest your desires. It has worked wonders in my own life.

I can hear many of you say, "But if I pretend that everything is going right and expect only good things to happen, I'm not being truly honest with myself." But why should we believe that negative thoughts are any more "honest" than positive ones? How is it that we have come to resist positive thoughts and focus instead on only that which is negative? Are we more comfortable hiding our spirit behind a wall of darkness as opposed to letting our light shine?

By letting our light shine and ignoring the urge to be negative, we let optimism prevail and become a beacon of hope and possibility in the lives of others. Positive thoughts are powerful thoughts—thoughts that can change the world. Positive thoughts are thoughts of love. Perhaps that's why we're so afraid of them.

The little voice in our heads often says, "Don't set your sights too high. You might be disappointed." But setting our sights high, chasing our dreams and focusing on all that will make the world a better place, is exactly what we should be doing. It is the feeling of guilt that, perhaps, we don't deserve to have what we desire—that somehow we are not worthy of happiness—that holds us back. But to be truly happy, we must push every bit of negative thinking from our minds and focus instead on positive affirmations. Negative thoughts will continue to raise their ugly heads but when they do, we should acknowledge their existence and then release them from our consciousness—forever!

Once we set fear aside, embrace love and set our sights on pure and noble pursuits, it is perhaps equally important to fully engage in the process of doing. The people who seem most happy in life are "doers."' They're involved in the process of living and contributing to a better world each and everyday. They have little time for complainers and those who set on the sidelines or play Monday morning quarterback. They are in the arena making their dreams come true. Regrets? They have a few. But as the song says, "Too few to mention."

To choose happiness, we must relinquish the need to be right. When we allow ourselves to get caught up in the madness of defending our position-whatever the subject may be-we trade happiness for the privilege of falling on our own swords. Taking our opinions and ourselves too seriously can result in discontent and a feeling that we are separate from and not connected to those around us. Our ego wants us to believe that we are somehow better than everyone else.

But, self-imposed superiority—the belief that we are somehow better than others—is a fear driven, sure-fire way to be unhappy. It is a choice that creates barriers and pushes us further and further away from the love and support of those around us. Conversely, by allowing ourselves to feel connected spiritually to everyone on the planet, we cease to judge others as either better or worse than ourselves. We become more open to acceptance and understanding. The world becomes less black and white and a little more gray. In this state of oneness with the universe, happiness presents itself as a strand of yarn that weaves through our collective souls and binds us together with an unseen power. We begin to see the eyes of our brothers and sisters in the face of every human being.

Sadly, whether in a court of law or over coffee, it has become almost fashionable these days to blame our unhappiness on the actions of others. Yet, in truth- in and of themselves-the actions of others cannot cause us any pain. They are simply actions. We choose how to respond to the actions of others and in our choosing, are either illuminated in the light of happiness or swallowed by the darkness of anger and hatred.

The actions of others have absolutely no control over our happiness other than the control we choose to give them. By acknowledging that happiness lies within our control, we place the decision of being happy on ourselves and begin to become more aware of the power that lies within us. We take responsibility for own happiness. We rise to the occasion and begin to take charge of our lives.

Perhaps the most important tool in our decision to be happy, is the ability to forgive. The wings of forgiveness can often take us to heights we never dreamed we could achieve. Forgiveness eliminates the head noise and internal dissonance that can cloud our judgment and blind us from seeing the happiness around us. By forgiving others as well as ourselves, we surrender to the power of innocence and grace. We allow peace to surround our souls. We drain the poison of hate and anger from our veins. We no longer have any attachment to the outcome but focus only on the moment at hand. Forgiveness frees us to be happy.

A few years ago, while meditating one Sunday morning, it became clear that my inner peace was being stifled by the anger and resentment I still harbored for another human being—a once-upon-a-time friend and the builder of my home. Two years had passed and I was still blaming him for problems we incurred during construction. I was still blaming him for my pain. At that moment, I felt God urging me to pick up the phone and call him. I was perplexed—I had no idea what I was going to say!

I made the uncomfortable phone call later that evening and found, to my surprise, words of love and forgiveness rolling from my tongue. I had no attachment to the outcome, no need for reconciliation—only the need to give unconditional love; expecting nothing in return. As I hung up the phone, a blissful feeling rushed through my body. For two years I had put off saying what needed to be said. I knew we probably would never be friends again but now through the power of forgiveness, I could move on with my life. My wounds had been healed. Happiness prevailed.

From Moby Dick, Herman Melville writes: "For as this appalling ocean surrounds the verdant land, so in the soul of man there lies one insular Tahiti, full of peace and joy, but encompassed by all the horrors of the half-lived life." Can you imagine the pain and sorrow we would each feel having reached the end of our lives knowing there was so much more we could have done, so much more we could have been?

In our pursuit of happiness, we must listen to and understand the message that is written in our hearts and do what it tells us to do—no exceptions. We must live our lives with purpose and courage. We must follow our bliss even if the path we choose runs counter to the opinions of others—true happiness is not decided by committee. We must do whatever God put us on earth to do with passion and determination, knowing we only have a short time in which to do it. Anything less will result in a half-lived life; a life devoid of purpose, mission and ultimately happiness. Don't let it happen to you…

We are at the beginning of another year; a new millennium. Over the next twelve months we will each be given another 365 days during which we may choose happiness or sorrow. We can rise each morning full of exuberance and excitement, ready to take on the day or we can curse the rising of the sun; shunning its warmth and closing our eyes to its brightness. We can welcome each new day with the declaration: "Good morning God!" or "Good god—morning!" The choice is ours to make.

Some Things To Consider

Are you choosing to be happy? List five things you've done in the past month to bring happiness into your life.

Who do you need to forgive? Why haven't you done so? List the people, including yourself if appropriate, that need your forgiveness. Write a letter of forgiveness to each of them and then follow up with a phone call.

All Rights Reserved © 2002 By Jeffrey Alan Hall